Monday, September 16, 2013

Keep calm and have a ...

It's Sunday and I'm pretty sure no one is doing what I am doing on a Sunday. While everyone is out running, shopping, and watching football or a movie I am preparing for a colonoscopy Monday morning before the sun comes up and crows... Well what ever they do?!
UG yes! Since it has been 18 weeks since my resectioning surgery/ Chrohn's diagnoses. I must have this test to make sure Humpty Dumpty was put back together again and correctly. 

I am telling you that I am not looking forward to this. Even though I have had one done before, about 8 yrs ago, it's not any more fun the second time around. 

It's 12:00 noon and here is just one of the bottles I am supposed to drink. After drinking a half of one I started to doctor myself and think "Wait! I am supposed to drink 2 of these? I am only 105 lbs & a Chrohns patient, not the normal 200 lbs grown man who can chug this!" As I am writing this I am already getting gut wrenching pains. Yeah today is really going to suck!

1:00 pm Ok I'm back! So I only drank half of that bottle. I just couldn't do it. It tasted like really really sour lemonade & full of saccharin and sucrose (something a Chrohns person is NOT supposed to have) OMG- ick! GROSS.

2:00 pm Now it's time for the second dose. I keep trying to psych myself out but it's not working. I stuck a straw in the bottle thinking I would drink it fast- nope, that didn't work. This stuff is horrible! 

4:00 pm So this is totally not fair... My family is having ribs and BBQ for dinner. My house smells like the Whispering Canyon in the Wilderness Lodge at Walt Disney World (yes there is always a correlation between something and WDW). Considering I have to be on a liquid diet until tomorrow's test I made my daughter go out and get me some wonton soup from our local Chinese restaurant. The salt was a good change from the sucrose induced drink they gave me to drink. I am getting cranky from all this sugar and no real food. 

I swear I am going to go to a buffet tomorrow! 

I don't think I have to drink any more of that stuff. Ewww! The thought of it makes me shiver. 

So it's 6:40am and I am heading off to the surgery center. I was up all night and my nerves are shot. Wish me luck! 

So I just walked in and did all if the paper work and they told me my appointment isn't until 8:15am. What? Lovely.. More nerves.

Ok it's time to go in. TTYL

So that wasn't the best experience, it wasn't the worst either. 
It was kind of what I expected. As soon as I came in I had to hand over my belongings. I should of left my purse in the car when my husband dropped me off but I didn't. I had to make a itemized list of what was in my purse which was fine buy then I had to count my money in my wallet in front of 2 nurses and have them witness and sign off on the amount I had. Interesting. 
The nurse rushed me through pre-op questions and then handed me a gown to put on. The temperature in this place must have been like 60 degrees. Brrr! 
So then the fun part came. IV time. I always try to tell them to use pediatric needles and let them know where my good veins are. She didn't listen.  I asked the nurse nicely not to put in in my hand, and of course after a bit of an argument and my arm turning colors, while on the other arm the blood pressure cuff was squeezing me like a python ...I gave in and started to tear up. After it was in he brought me a tissue and asked what I was in for and why. After I told her that I was in to do a follow up to a surgery I had she asked "When & What happened? What did you have?" I told her I had a resection after going septic on Mother's Day and she said "OMG do you have Chrohns?" I replied "Yes" and now all of a sudden she became compassionate and told me she was sorry and now she understood why I was acting the way I was. I all of a sudden started to tear up even more. I was having flashbacks of that hospital ordeal. 
I am not a fan of hospitals not procedures. I hate it. 
The anesthesiologist came in and talked to me and again I had to go thru my Schpeel of how I don't wake up easily and even though you think I am awake .. I'm not! Why do they NOT listen to you? They look as if you are crazy? 
Oxygen on, IV's going and off I went into a private room. The room had tons of TV's and nurses. As everyone was walking around one of the nurses came over and started to push the anesthesia into my IV. The last thing I said was "man this stuff burns... And I went out!"

I woke up as scheduled a few minutes later in another room groggy as all hell and of course they were trying to push me out and hurry me out. I started to tear up again because I wanted to yell out "omg chill out!" 
My husband helped me to the car where I immediately asked him to stop for food. I was hungry after not eating for 2 days. 
Next stop... Panera for a Cinnamon Crunch bagel with hazelnut cream cheese stat! 

I see the doctor in another week to talk about a few biopsies he tool but he told my husband that everything looked good and I was healing nicely! No gaps, no holes, and no detours! (lol)  

I guess Humpty Dumpty was put together again.